it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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