I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
