Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
