and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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