Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
