Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
