shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize