I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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