who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
