so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
