hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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