have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
