Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
