I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
