i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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