Can Purell be used as lube?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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