that's an acceptable place to lick
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
