would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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