So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
