i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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