did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Buhtt sex?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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