I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
