I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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