when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
