Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
