Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
