Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
