): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
