And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
