he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize