At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
