Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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