Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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