Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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