Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
