There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
