my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I forget how to act sober
Randomize