dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
only if we run a train.
done.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
