? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its not stalking. its research.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
