that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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