I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
