STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
