take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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