Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
