Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
