The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
