You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
