I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize