I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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