my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
