sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
