Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
