I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dick very happy bro
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
