A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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