Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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