somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
pray to the hookup gods
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
