The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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