Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
