if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
