so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
