...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
