I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
