ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
