I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
